Poor second babies, always getting the short shrift. Sometimes their moms even neglect to post about them on the family blog until the second trimester. Oops! And third babies, well geez, those poor things are lucky to get a mention at all, never mind a photograph. So I guess I should mention that we are having a second baby! And a third baby! At the same time even, imagine that.
Here's the (very) abbreviated version of events: we wanted to have another baby as soon as possible after Charlie was born and thought we might be one of those couples that had to do IVF for Baby #1 and then surprise! Baby #2 would just happen the old-fashioned way. Well, we aren't that couple apparently, and 9 months after Charlie was born, back to the fertility specialist we went. With Charlie we had 3 failed IUIs and then success on our first IVF cycle. For these babies we had 3 failed IUIs, a failed IVF, two failed frozen embryo transfers, and finally, on our 3rd fresh IVF cycle and 7th treatment cycle since Charlie was born - voila, 2 babies. And proof that fertility does not improve with age. That makes it all sound much easier than it actually was, but now that I am pregnant, I have totally blocked out the drama of conception.
So these twins, they appear to be doing great. We've had a zillion ultrasounds already it seems, which has been good for my peace of mind. Earlier this week we had our nt scan and both babies have very low odds of chromosomal issues and look perfectly healthy. I'm 13 weeks pregnant and my due date is April 6, 2012. Per my OB, outcomes on twin deliveries are optimal at 38 weeks, so the goal is to keep the babies comfy inside until March 23, and if I haven't gone into labor then, we will be induced or have a c-section, depending on the babies' positions.
In the meantime, I am to follow the perinatologist's (high risk OB) somewhat draconian guidelines for twin pregnancies. I meet with the nutritionist next week so she can help me figure out how to eat 100 grams of protein a day and gain 24lbs. by 24 weeks. I have gained 6, so I have 18 to go in the next 11 weeks. We'll see how that goes. I am also to rest, rest, and rest some more. Exercise is looked at with skepticism in twin pregnancies, and resting with feet up is the ideal position. Bed rest is likely at some point, though not a definite. I'm supposed to already be scaling back at work (I am) and be prepared to be taken out of work as early as 24-28 weeks. Hopefully, since I have a desk job, I could just work on my laptop from the comfort of my couch - with feet up of course. This is all very fun and easy to accomplish with a wild 19 month old boy at home!
So, yeah, we have quite a lot going on right now. I have yet to take a single belly photo so far, but I think I will do that this weekend, just to compare it to last time. Needless to say, I am a LOT bigger this time around. I really want to give this pregnancy as much attention as I showered on Charlie in utero, but it is somehow so much harder when I have him to tend to. I am lucky to have a lot of help - Cody has been super-husband so that I can rest and we have had a lot of help from the grandparents as well. I have not done a great job lately of keeping up the blog about Charlie, so I am hoping I can muster the motivation to update regularly about all three little munchkins!
Friday, September 30, 2011
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Missing Marco
I have not had the easiest time trying to write about my sweet nephew, and I don't feel like I can write about anything else either. So I've written nothing, but if you are actually reading this blog, you probably already know that Marco passed away on September 12. He was diagnosed with an extremely rare, extremely aggressive central nervous system cancer that occurs most often in young children. It grew so fast that little man didn't have a chance to try chemo or any other treatment before it started taking over his neurological functions, which in turn, started shutting down the rest of his little body.
Emily and Chris spent Marco's final days hunkered down with him in the cancer unit at Children's. I have no great silver linings to report. It's not like when someone passes after a long, full life. It has been tragic, and horrible. I guess if I am searching for something positive to say, at least Emily and Chris had the chance to say goodbye, and to tell Marco over and over how much they loved him. Not everyone gets that opportunity, and Marco left us knowing he was so loved in his parents' arms.
As an aunt, I miss my sweet little nephew. He was such a happy boy, with a crazy, wide smile. He loved when his mommy spoke to him in funny accents and voices, and when his daddy sung him strange little songs, often made up on the spot. He was rarely without his Sophie or alien toy to chew on, just getting his first teeth. He was not a good napper, and he was lucky because his mommy never cared. She was happy to spend those awake hours talking to him and tickling him. She couldn't stand to let him cry. He was just getting ready to crawl, and who knows what would have happened once he was really on the move. Would he have been bold or tentative? Would he have tested all the baby-proofing Emily and Chris had just done in preparation for a mobile baby? Probably, but there are a lot more questions than answers for Marco. I miss him as the little person he was and the big boy he would have been.
As a sister, my heart is completely broken for Emily and Chris. If I'm being honest, I still cannot even try to mentally put myself in their shoes, because it is too upsetting. Their whole life has drastically changed, and in one of the worst possible ways I can imagine. They are parents without a baby. They are also incredibly strong and getting through this. I don't think one can ever "move on" from something like this, but I know they will move forward and that they will be okay. Not the same as they were, but okay in some way.
As a mom, I am sad for Charlie. He really loved his cousin, as much as an 18 month old can really understand love. He is too young for us to need to do much explaining, so we haven't. Since Marco died, Charlie's interest in babies has increased. He looks at Emily sometimes like he is wondering where Marco is. We have a strange little book that features a baby that happens to look a lot like Marco did at around 6 months. We fostered this association all summer, telling Charlie "look, it's your cuzzy!" every time we read the book. He definitely made the connection, and when Marco would sleep upstairs at our house, Charlie would pull out the book, point to Marco's doppleganger, and then point upstairs. He still pulls out the book, and he still lights up when we get to the Spain page (yes, the Marco twin in Global Babies was representing Spain...). I imagine all this will fade with time, and at 18 months, he won't have a lasting memory of his time with Marco. I will though, and I am sad every day for the trips to Disney we planned to take the boys on together, the sleepovers we expected the boys to have, and the friends we hoped they would be, born only 9 months apart.
I don't think there is some great lesson to be learned from all of this. Terrible things happen sometimes, who knows why. I hug Charlie a little tighter every night, and think more about how time can be so fleeting. This is surely cold comfort to Emily and Chris. The loss is still just incomprehensible. Maybe someday one of us will have something profound to say about all of this, but not yet. Now we just move forward without moving on, and try to be okay.
Emily and Chris spent Marco's final days hunkered down with him in the cancer unit at Children's. I have no great silver linings to report. It's not like when someone passes after a long, full life. It has been tragic, and horrible. I guess if I am searching for something positive to say, at least Emily and Chris had the chance to say goodbye, and to tell Marco over and over how much they loved him. Not everyone gets that opportunity, and Marco left us knowing he was so loved in his parents' arms.
As an aunt, I miss my sweet little nephew. He was such a happy boy, with a crazy, wide smile. He loved when his mommy spoke to him in funny accents and voices, and when his daddy sung him strange little songs, often made up on the spot. He was rarely without his Sophie or alien toy to chew on, just getting his first teeth. He was not a good napper, and he was lucky because his mommy never cared. She was happy to spend those awake hours talking to him and tickling him. She couldn't stand to let him cry. He was just getting ready to crawl, and who knows what would have happened once he was really on the move. Would he have been bold or tentative? Would he have tested all the baby-proofing Emily and Chris had just done in preparation for a mobile baby? Probably, but there are a lot more questions than answers for Marco. I miss him as the little person he was and the big boy he would have been.
As a sister, my heart is completely broken for Emily and Chris. If I'm being honest, I still cannot even try to mentally put myself in their shoes, because it is too upsetting. Their whole life has drastically changed, and in one of the worst possible ways I can imagine. They are parents without a baby. They are also incredibly strong and getting through this. I don't think one can ever "move on" from something like this, but I know they will move forward and that they will be okay. Not the same as they were, but okay in some way.
As a mom, I am sad for Charlie. He really loved his cousin, as much as an 18 month old can really understand love. He is too young for us to need to do much explaining, so we haven't. Since Marco died, Charlie's interest in babies has increased. He looks at Emily sometimes like he is wondering where Marco is. We have a strange little book that features a baby that happens to look a lot like Marco did at around 6 months. We fostered this association all summer, telling Charlie "look, it's your cuzzy!" every time we read the book. He definitely made the connection, and when Marco would sleep upstairs at our house, Charlie would pull out the book, point to Marco's doppleganger, and then point upstairs. He still pulls out the book, and he still lights up when we get to the Spain page (yes, the Marco twin in Global Babies was representing Spain...). I imagine all this will fade with time, and at 18 months, he won't have a lasting memory of his time with Marco. I will though, and I am sad every day for the trips to Disney we planned to take the boys on together, the sleepovers we expected the boys to have, and the friends we hoped they would be, born only 9 months apart.
I don't think there is some great lesson to be learned from all of this. Terrible things happen sometimes, who knows why. I hug Charlie a little tighter every night, and think more about how time can be so fleeting. This is surely cold comfort to Emily and Chris. The loss is still just incomprehensible. Maybe someday one of us will have something profound to say about all of this, but not yet. Now we just move forward without moving on, and try to be okay.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Charlie's First Day of School
I will write more about Charlie's first day in the Busy Bees classroom later, but this picture is so cute I had to post right away. The short of it is that he did great! And yes, it is miraculously cool enough in Atlanta right now that his outfit was entirely weather-appropriate.
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Quick Update
Life has been a whirlwind lately, and not in a good way. Charlie's cousin Marco was diagnosed with cancer this week. I am not sure who reads this blog anymore due to my lack of updating, but if you are here, you have seen sweet little Marco make his appearances on this blog. He is only nine months old and has a long treatment road ahead of him, but we are hopeful. If you would like to read more about him and his situation, visit http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/marcogiovinazzo and please keep him in your thoughts.
I also wanted to give a quick update on Charlie's activities these days. Little man is talking more and more every day, but has pretty much abandoned the potty. He starts real preschool on Wednesday and we are so excited for him. We love his teachers and think he will have a great time. Charlie seems to have gotten over his stranger/separation anxiety and will now offer hugs and kisses to all our family and friends. He has become obsessed with boy toys like cars, trucks, trains, and pretty much any other type of vehicle or piece of construction equipment. His favorite book is Go Dog Go! and he is doing really well.
Updates may be more scarce, as we are very busy these days, but please check in and send all your positive thoughts and vibes to Marco!
I also wanted to give a quick update on Charlie's activities these days. Little man is talking more and more every day, but has pretty much abandoned the potty. He starts real preschool on Wednesday and we are so excited for him. We love his teachers and think he will have a great time. Charlie seems to have gotten over his stranger/separation anxiety and will now offer hugs and kisses to all our family and friends. He has become obsessed with boy toys like cars, trucks, trains, and pretty much any other type of vehicle or piece of construction equipment. His favorite book is Go Dog Go! and he is doing really well.
Updates may be more scarce, as we are very busy these days, but please check in and send all your positive thoughts and vibes to Marco!
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