I originally wrote this in my last post about the twins, but I decided to take it out because it really warrants its own post. I am a cranky, sleep-deprived mama, so I know I don't give Cody enough credit. It is hard sometimes not to be a little bitter when breastfeeding, just because it can be overwhelming to be the only feeder of babies, and tethered to either the babies or a breast pump every few hours. So I am sometimes super jealous when the night nanny comes and I am getting up at 3am to pump while he is getting an uninterrupted 7-8 hours of sleep. This might cause me sometimes to not be as appreciative as I really am, because, really, our house would not be running if it wasn't for him and I know that.
True, I am the primary feeder of babies, but Cody is basically doing Everything Else. For example, laundry, dishes, straightening up, grocery shopping, playing with Charlie, getting Charlie out of the house when he is too wild to be around the twins, dealing with the breast milk storage (he is a total expert!), taking care of Junebug, the list goes on and on and on. And he has been doing it all for a VERY long time, as most of it is stuff I wasn't supposed to be doing while gestating the twins either. And he doesn't even complain, he is even nice about it! Thanks honey!! Oh and that doesn't even take into account that fairly demanding full-time job he has that allows me to take an extended maternity leave and hire extra help with the kids and house. He's been working really hard and still manages to be home by 5:30pm on most days to help with our most challenging hours at home (somehow all 3 children manage to be crazy from 5-7pm, they are totally the witching hours as Charlie starts to get tired and out of control, dinner needs to get on the table, and both twins have the inexplicable but common newborn need to be held for 2 hours straight). He is the best husband and dad we could ask for. I do know that I don't give him enough credit on a daily basis, so hopefully this blog post is a start to being more regularly grateful for my awesome hubby. Charlie definitely thinks Cody is his best friend and the best dad ever - and I totally agree!
Monday, May 7, 2012
Care and Feeding of Newborn Twins
Taking care of newborn twins is challenging. In a lot of ways, it is psychologically/emotionally easier than taking care of Charlie was, just by virtue of this not being our first rodeo. I am pretty confident that the babies will not be scarred if they cry sometimes. I am pretty confident that the babies will not starve if they skip a feeding. I am pretty confident that the babies are actually getting milk when they nurse. I am pretty confident that babies who spend much of the day wrapped up are just sweetly warm, and not feverish. So basically, I just have a lot more confidence with these two, so I am considerably less freaked out and wracked with self-doubt on a daily basis this time around.
But the drudge work of feeding and caring for a newborn is more than doubled with two babies. Obviously it is the feeding times two, the diapers times two, etc. But there is also the little added bit that makes it sometimes feel more like three times the work. Part of that is escalation. With one baby, it is pretty easy to respond and tend to their every need, to keep crying to a minimum. This is not the case with twins (or even with a second single baby really, the toddler has needs too!) - obviously you have the normal, natural newborn crying times two. Then you also have that added little bit of extra crying that happens when one baby is nursing and one is fussing , or both are fussing to be picked up. You can't tend to both all the times, so there is the crying and fussing that escalates from not being tended to immediately. I am trying to get used to it, but it is hard.
There's also the lack of downtime/sleep. Individually, Andrew and Nora are pretty easy babies, and pretty good sleepers. With one baby, you really can sleep when the baby sleeps much of the time, which at this age is about 16 hours per day. Don't get me wrong, it's not easy with one baby, because let's face it, it's not always practical to sleep when the baby sleeps, especially if you ever want to eat, shower, brush your teeth, get dressed, check your email, and other essential functions. With two, that time is almost entirely gone. One of them usually needs to be held or fed or changed or tended to for a very large part of the day. With our recent purchase of a second swing, and the babies slowly but surely moving toward a sleep schedule, it is getting easier in this regard.
Until this week though, I basically had to have two other people in the house (one on Charlie, one on the twins) in order to do anything productive or take a nap. In order to write this blog post, Linda is here letting Andrew nap in her arms while Charlie and Nora nap as well. Stars must align! Our mother's helper is graduating from college next week and starting with us on May 21, so I am expecting major improvement on this front in a few weeks. Thankfully!
Let me add that I have already had TONS of help. My mom came to town for 4 of the twins' first 5 weeks, came over daily to hold a baby and help with the babies, and cooked us dinner almost nightly. Linda has been working some serious grandma overtime, helping us more on the weekends and helping out with the twins while Charlie is in school and napping, in addition to keeping Charlie like she normally does. She has also been having Charlie sleep over at her house one weekend night each week so that we can sleep in with the babies past Charlie's 7:30am wake up. My sister comes by for a bit almost every day, even with her law school exams looming, to keep me company and from going too stir crazy! She also usually brings coffee, which is truly a necessity these days. My friend Amy has also been beyond helpful as well, bringing us food, checking in, organizing neighbors to bring us dinners, and offering to hold babies. With all of this amazing help, it has been considerably less crazy than it could have been! I am getting better at and more comfortable having the twins by myself, but it sure was nice that I basically didn't have to for the first month of their life! We also have been lucky enough to have a night nanny a few nights per week so that I just have to get up once to pump, rather than the several times the babies sometimes wake just to fuss. I know how lucky I am to have had so much help, and honestly am in awe of the moms who stay at home with a toddler and baby twins, or even just a toddler and a new baby. Caring for multiple little people is no joke, at least at these ages.
The twins themselves are doing great! Both are smiling, Andrew earlier and more regularly than Nora. I have gotten a couple photos on my phone, but will try to get real photos soon. If only I had a third hand! I hate to even say this for fear of jinxing it, but they have also been showing much improvement in the sleep department. The past few nights they have gone a 5-6 hour stretch between feedings, eating at 10pm and then again between 3-4am. They slept straight from 11pm to 4am the other night without waking, and I felt like a new woman! Then they went back down and slept til 7:30am. Amazing! I know enough to know this could just be a fluke, but hey, I will take a fluke whenever I can. More detailed twin post to come, with photos...
But the drudge work of feeding and caring for a newborn is more than doubled with two babies. Obviously it is the feeding times two, the diapers times two, etc. But there is also the little added bit that makes it sometimes feel more like three times the work. Part of that is escalation. With one baby, it is pretty easy to respond and tend to their every need, to keep crying to a minimum. This is not the case with twins (or even with a second single baby really, the toddler has needs too!) - obviously you have the normal, natural newborn crying times two. Then you also have that added little bit of extra crying that happens when one baby is nursing and one is fussing , or both are fussing to be picked up. You can't tend to both all the times, so there is the crying and fussing that escalates from not being tended to immediately. I am trying to get used to it, but it is hard.
There's also the lack of downtime/sleep. Individually, Andrew and Nora are pretty easy babies, and pretty good sleepers. With one baby, you really can sleep when the baby sleeps much of the time, which at this age is about 16 hours per day. Don't get me wrong, it's not easy with one baby, because let's face it, it's not always practical to sleep when the baby sleeps, especially if you ever want to eat, shower, brush your teeth, get dressed, check your email, and other essential functions. With two, that time is almost entirely gone. One of them usually needs to be held or fed or changed or tended to for a very large part of the day. With our recent purchase of a second swing, and the babies slowly but surely moving toward a sleep schedule, it is getting easier in this regard.
Until this week though, I basically had to have two other people in the house (one on Charlie, one on the twins) in order to do anything productive or take a nap. In order to write this blog post, Linda is here letting Andrew nap in her arms while Charlie and Nora nap as well. Stars must align! Our mother's helper is graduating from college next week and starting with us on May 21, so I am expecting major improvement on this front in a few weeks. Thankfully!
Let me add that I have already had TONS of help. My mom came to town for 4 of the twins' first 5 weeks, came over daily to hold a baby and help with the babies, and cooked us dinner almost nightly. Linda has been working some serious grandma overtime, helping us more on the weekends and helping out with the twins while Charlie is in school and napping, in addition to keeping Charlie like she normally does. She has also been having Charlie sleep over at her house one weekend night each week so that we can sleep in with the babies past Charlie's 7:30am wake up. My sister comes by for a bit almost every day, even with her law school exams looming, to keep me company and from going too stir crazy! She also usually brings coffee, which is truly a necessity these days. My friend Amy has also been beyond helpful as well, bringing us food, checking in, organizing neighbors to bring us dinners, and offering to hold babies. With all of this amazing help, it has been considerably less crazy than it could have been! I am getting better at and more comfortable having the twins by myself, but it sure was nice that I basically didn't have to for the first month of their life! We also have been lucky enough to have a night nanny a few nights per week so that I just have to get up once to pump, rather than the several times the babies sometimes wake just to fuss. I know how lucky I am to have had so much help, and honestly am in awe of the moms who stay at home with a toddler and baby twins, or even just a toddler and a new baby. Caring for multiple little people is no joke, at least at these ages.
The twins themselves are doing great! Both are smiling, Andrew earlier and more regularly than Nora. I have gotten a couple photos on my phone, but will try to get real photos soon. If only I had a third hand! I hate to even say this for fear of jinxing it, but they have also been showing much improvement in the sleep department. The past few nights they have gone a 5-6 hour stretch between feedings, eating at 10pm and then again between 3-4am. They slept straight from 11pm to 4am the other night without waking, and I felt like a new woman! Then they went back down and slept til 7:30am. Amazing! I know enough to know this could just be a fluke, but hey, I will take a fluke whenever I can. More detailed twin post to come, with photos...
ABCD
Like most parents, we sing the ABC song to Charlie here and there, and he has some alphabet magnets that he so cutely calls his "ABCDs" - we haven't however, tried to actively teach him the alphabet, through the song or otherwise. Imagine my surprise the other day when I was fixing dinner in the kitchen and he busted out with the entire alphabet song while playing with said magnets. At that time, and in this video, he mumbles through the L-M-N-O part, but even in the few days since we took the video he has learned that part too. I guess they maybe have been teaching it at preschool? This video is at bedtime when I asked him to sing it for Cody, who had never heard it before and also had no idea the child knew the song. Funny how they can surprise you. Also added a few Charlie-isms.
Charlie-isms:
"It's okay buddy!" and "Don't cry buddy!" - said to the babies whenever one of them cries.
"He be a big boy someday, play with Charlie" - also said about the babies
"I want to go to the aquarium...maybe someday" - said forlornly, like the child isn't regularly toted around to every park and kid-oriented attraction in the Atlanta metro area. Clearly he has latched on to the use of "someday" as something mommy says when she means "stop asking me about this!"
"I like it" and "I no like it" - the judgment he makes about every type of food we put in front of him. Here's a hint, if it's green "I no like it." If it's a carb, a fruit, or a treat "I like it!" Last night he ate bread dipped in sour cream for dinner.
"Andrew/Nora just a baby!" - said whenever we talk about things he can do as a big boy. For example, Charlie will say "I want a quesadilla! Mommy get a quesadilla, Daddy get a quesadilla. Andrew just a baby, Nora just a baby!" Sorry babies, no quesadillas for you! He also knows that he drinks "cow milk" and the babies drink "baby milk."
"Turn it up!" - what he says when he really means "talk louder" to me or Cody. Do you think we let him watch too much TV?
"I want to be wild!" - this is the direct result of me telling him he can't be wild around the babies, for example jumping and rolling around on our bed when the babies are in it. So now, when he wants to go wrestle/tickle/roll around on our bed, he just says "I want to be wild!"
Charlie-isms:
"It's okay buddy!" and "Don't cry buddy!" - said to the babies whenever one of them cries.
"He be a big boy someday, play with Charlie" - also said about the babies
"I want to go to the aquarium...maybe someday" - said forlornly, like the child isn't regularly toted around to every park and kid-oriented attraction in the Atlanta metro area. Clearly he has latched on to the use of "someday" as something mommy says when she means "stop asking me about this!"
"I like it" and "I no like it" - the judgment he makes about every type of food we put in front of him. Here's a hint, if it's green "I no like it." If it's a carb, a fruit, or a treat "I like it!" Last night he ate bread dipped in sour cream for dinner.
"Andrew/Nora just a baby!" - said whenever we talk about things he can do as a big boy. For example, Charlie will say "I want a quesadilla! Mommy get a quesadilla, Daddy get a quesadilla. Andrew just a baby, Nora just a baby!" Sorry babies, no quesadillas for you! He also knows that he drinks "cow milk" and the babies drink "baby milk."
"Turn it up!" - what he says when he really means "talk louder" to me or Cody. Do you think we let him watch too much TV?
"I want to be wild!" - this is the direct result of me telling him he can't be wild around the babies, for example jumping and rolling around on our bed when the babies are in it. So now, when he wants to go wrestle/tickle/roll around on our bed, he just says "I want to be wild!"
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Charlie-isms
Kids say the darndest things, don't they? I don't think I appreciated that expression until I started conversing regularly with a toddler. Charlie talks pretty much non-stop, and has some pretty funny, interesting, imaginative (ahem, aka totally false) things to say. I'm going to try to occasionally post some highlights before we forget!
Mommy: That's right, when do you think you might start going peepee on the potty?
Charlie: Someday!
Charlie: Cake!
Charlie: There's a park!
Mommy: No honey, that's a school [Ashford Park Elementary School]
Charlie: Dat Auntie's school!
- "He open his eyes up, see Charlie!" or "She open her eyes up, see me!" - this is what Charlie typically says after his exuberant grand entrance into our bedroom in the morning, when he pretty much invariably wakes up one or both of the twins. I would be impressed that he uses the proper gender agreement, but I am usually just wishing he hadn't woken them up...
- Scene - In the rocking chair, singing and chatting before bedtime.
Mommy: That's right, when do you think you might start going peepee on the potty?
Charlie: Someday!
- "Andoo supposed to be here, Nowah supposed to be there!" - said as he lifts up my shirt and points to two corresponding moles on my stomach. I tell him that is where Andrew and Nora used to be, but he corrects me that they are supposed to be there. Freudian slip from a jealous toddler?
- "Put Andoo in the swing and play trucks with me" "Give Nowah to Gaga, blow bubbles with me!" and countless other variations on that theme. Boy knows what he wants and how to get it.
- Scene: Dining Room, 7:30am
Charlie: Cake!
- Backstory: Charlie knows that Daddy goes to work, that Uncle Chris takes MARTA to work, that Auntie Emily goes to school, etc., he always wants to know where people are.
Charlie: There's a park!
Mommy: No honey, that's a school [Ashford Park Elementary School]
Charlie: Dat Auntie's school!
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